Many couples fall into the common trap of believing that once they say “I do,” the days of dating are behind them. However, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, dating after marriage is one of the most essential components to keeping a relationship thriving.
With the introduction of children, demanding careers, and the fast pace of everyday life, the reality of consistently dating your spouse can become increasingly challenging. Yet, this is exactly why couples must make intentional and concentrated efforts to prioritize dating in marriage.
Why Dating After Marriage Is Non-Negotiable
Think back to when you first started dating your partner. What fueled the excitement? The effort, the creativity, and the anticipation of making them feel special. Those same elements are still necessary today — perhaps even more so.
Regular date nights are not just a luxury; they are the fuel that keeps passion alive in marriage. Without these moments of connection, many couples report feeling stuck in routines filled only with work obligations, children’s schedules, and constant headaches. Over time, the relationship can feel more like a business partnership than a romantic one.
Without consistent emotional and physical connection, the passion can wane, leading to dissatisfaction, disconnection, and in some cases, resentment. Couples often express feeling like roommates rather than lovers when they stop intentionally investing in their relationship.
The Neurochemistry of Connection: Why Physical Activity Matters
When it comes to reigniting passion, shared physical activity plays a powerful role. Physical exercise and sexual intimacy share a unique bond in the way they affect the body’s neurochemistry. Both activities release a surge of feel-good neurochemicals — endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine — that promote connection, pleasure, and attachment. This shared experience of “breaking a sweat” is not just about getting in shape; it’s about reconnecting on a deeply emotional and physical level.
Chelom Leavitt’s research at BYU highlighted that couples who engage in physical activity together experience greater emotional and sexual connection. Activities like a walk, hike, or workout can boost endorphins, enhance attraction, and deepen emotional bonds. Interestingly, couples who engaged in physical activity together and then followed it with physical intimacy reported higher sexual satisfaction. The post-exercise glow is more than just physical — it’s about feeling alive, connected, and attuned to one another.
Reignite Passion Through Shared Experiences
Remember how you used to plan dates with creativity and excitement? Doing something new together, whether it was a fun activity, trying a new restaurant, or planning a surprise, was part of what made those early days of your relationship so thrilling.
The key is to never stop trying to “win over” your spouse. This doesn’t mean grand gestures every week. It means showing up consistently, putting in thoughtful effort, and sharing meaningful, fun, and even challenging experiences together.
Pro Tip: Do Activities That Make You Sweat
According to Leavitt’s research, couples who broke a sweat together, showered together, and then engaged in physical intimacy reported higher sexual satisfaction. Sweaty sex tends to be sexy sex. Why? Because couples feel alive, connected, and physically attuned after shared movement. The neurochemicals released in both physical exercise and sexual intimacy mirror each other, making these activities powerful tools for reigniting passion and connection.
Simple Ideas for Dates After Marriage
Go on a scenic hike together
Take a dance or workout class
Plan a weekend getaway, even if it’s local
Have a technology-free dinner date
Go for a walk or bike ride after dinner
Try something new — pottery, cooking, or learning a new skill
Make it playful — mini-golf, bowling, or an amusement park
The Takeaway: Keep Dating, Keep Thriving
Making the effort to date your spouse isn’t just about scheduling time together; it’s about keeping the passion, fun, and intimacy alive. Marriage requires regular doses of intentional connection, just like when you were first falling in love. Don’t let the busyness of life rob you of the relationship you’ve worked so hard to build.
So, go ahead — plan a date, break a sweat, and rekindle the fire.
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